Log in

Login to your account

Username *
Password *
Remember Me
Monday, 22 June 2015 00:00

O Canada, eh?!

columnist Eoin KennyShare this with fellow Canadians who need a laugh and foreigners who can learna thing or two about Canada and then enjoy a good chuckle. Let's face it: We Canadians are a rare breed.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 
5. Weed. 

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 
1. Big rocks between you and B.C. 
2. Ottawa who? 
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% as it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. 
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. 

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 
1. You never run out of wheat. 
2. Your province is really easy to draw. 
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 
4. People will assume you live on a farm. 
5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that! 

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 
1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 

6.The Jets are back! 

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 
1. You live in the centre of the universe. 
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 
1. Racism is socially acceptable. 
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English-speaking neighbor will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada ...
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo A*#!%!"? 

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick. 
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 
1. Everyone can play the fiddle... The ones who can't, think they can. 
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. 
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding. 


Please visit my Ride for Sight secure online fundraising page and pony up a few bucks for this important fundraising ride to fund research into the causes and prevention of blindness. Thanks!

Last modified on Thursday, 25 June 2015 08:42

In this Edition...

Ride Tibet for Free!!! Ride Tibet for Free!!! 2019-01-16 - One lucky rider who signs up to join our tour with Easy Rider... More detail
What's new in the new year @ Bullying Enns What's new in the new year @ Bullying Enns 2019-01-16 - HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS! More detail
2019 MPNMR (11th Anniversary) info to date 2019 MPNMR (11th Anniversary) info to date 2019-01-16 - 2019 MPNMR Ride Info More detail
Saskatoon Ride For Dad Steak Night Fundraiser is Feb 2nd! Saskatoon Ride For Dad Steak Night Fundraiser is Feb 2nd! 2019-01-16 - Prostate Cancer Fundraiser - Saturday February 2nd, 2019 More detail
Futurewest Moto Arenacross February 1-2! Futurewest Moto Arenacross February 1-2! 2019-01-16 - Canadian Areanacross Championships More detail
U.B.A.K.A. Fundraiser in support of WIN House is Feb 2nd! U.B.A.K.A. Fundraiser in support of WIN House is Feb 2nd! 2019-01-16 - Urban Bulldogs Against Kids Abuse - $20 admission - doors open... More detail
The CMA Parked Motorcycle Syndrome Potluck is January 26th! The CMA Parked Motorcycle Syndrome Potluck is January 26th! 2019-01-16 - CMA's Annual PMS POTLUCK Extravaganza is Back - January 26, More detail
Classified Ad of the Week: 2017 Softail Slim S Classified Ad of the Week: 2017 Softail Slim S 2019-01-15 - PRE-OWNED BIKE OF THE WEEK More detail
The Vancouver Motorcycle Show has rolled into town! The Vancouver Motorcycle Show has rolled into town! 2019-01-15 - Come get your fix at the Abbotsford Tradex this weekend More detail
Tony Moore's fine work with Veterans and Cadets Tony Moore's fine work with Veterans and Cadets 2019-01-15 - Volume 1 First Edition January 13, 2019   &nb... More detail
Ducati North America brings new 2019 motorcycles to Vancouver Motorcycle Show Ducati North America brings new 2019 motorcycles to Vancouver Motorcycle Show 2019-01-15 - while affirming commitment to British Columbia with new dealership... More detail
Victoria Motorcycle Club's Les Blow Trial on February 17, 2019 Victoria Motorcycle Club's Les Blow Trial on February 17, 2019 2019-01-15 - The Victoria Motorcycle Club will host the annual Les Blow Trial... More detail

Ride Like a Local TV - Season 6 - Mini Eps

Ride Like a Local TV - Season 6 - Mini Eps

© 2018 Belt Drive Betty Media ®. All Rights Reserved. Powered by AliG8r